Idea for handling not-in-list contacts.
1. when you have a new not-in-list contact, the client sends an add-to-contact-list packet to icq server.
1a. when &rq launched, for each existing not-in-list contact, the client sends an add-to-contact-list packet to icq server.
2. regardless of the "send you're added" prefs checkbox, client does never send any "you're added to contact list" packets to icq server for not-in-list contacts. This packet will be sent if "send you're added" prefs checkbox is checked, and the local user adds these not-in-list contacts to a contact list.
3. When the user deletes the not-in-list contact from the contact list, the client sends a remove-from-contact-list packet to a server.
Resume. This way, the user will be able to see the status for not-in-list contacts. They will still be in the &rq's contact list section "not-in-list".